guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
I'm always down for nudity.
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