Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
