Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Randomize
