My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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