he puts the penis in happiness.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
