She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
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