I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
