He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
