Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
Randomize
