All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
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