I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
