i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
