we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
