You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
