so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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