At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Randomize
