Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Randomize
