He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
