Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
He did a backflip because drugs
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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