chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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