You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize
