Jerry, you need to find god
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
