Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
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