i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
