Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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