They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Randomize
