So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I need moral support for this bender
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
