Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Randomize
