operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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