omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
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