just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
