Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize
