Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize
