just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Randomize
