you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Randomize
