Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
what the fuck happened to the tacos
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
