Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
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