We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
