yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Randomize
