if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
