i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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