We should be called the Road Head Warriors
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
