Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
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