everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
