If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Randomize
