I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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