He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Randomize
