$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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