it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Randomize
