My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Randomize
