So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
