Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
