the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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